The Worst Post Ever.

There isn't an easy way to say this and I've been dreading doing so. After 15+ years of marriage Steve and I are divorced. He moved out almost 2 months ago and it was a really quick process and everything is done, filed and finalized. I'm sure most of you are probably shocked. I know I wasn't expecting it and still sometimes feel like it's all just a bad dream that I'm eventually going to wake up from. It's not what I wanted and the last 4 months have been the hardest of my entire life. Divorce is something I never ever imagined I would go through and I still can't really wrap my head around the fact that I have become part of that dreaded statistic. For me divorce was never an option, when I promised forever, on that beautiful sunny June day in the Manti Temple, I meant it. It's been hard accepting the fact that sometimes things just aren't in our control. My heart goes out to anyone that has gone through this... it is truly devastating.

I know that we are given trials to strengthen us and bring us closer to God. I also believe that we aren't given more than we can handle, although at times it sure doesn't feel that way. In the last 9 months I have lost my 7th pregnancy at nearly 16 weeks gestation (my 5th and 6th-both at nearly 11 weeks-in the 16 months prior), had reconstructive surgery on my uterus (to hopefully be able to carry a pregnancy full term) and now I've lost my marriage. I know I will come out of this a stronger person, I just wish God didn't have so much faith in me. Steve loves our kids more than anything and is a wonderful father. He is very involved and comes to the house nearly every day to see the kids and so I can still work part time. He is still providing for us and I'm so so grateful for this. We both want what's best for the kids and we are both 100% on board to make sure the transition and their futures are the best they can be given the circumstances. We will always be a part of each others lives and I still care a great deal for him.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to those of you that have known and have been there for me in any and every way possible. It is very comforting knowing so many people genuinely care about me and would do anything to help out. I am truly blessed and am surrounded by so many wonderful friends and family members. I would be eternally grateful for any and all prayers, especially on behalf of our children. They are so tender-hearted and innocent and mean the world to me. It breaks my heart that they are the ones that will suffer the most as a result of this. They truly bring such joy into my life and I'm so very grateful and humbled that I was chosen to be their mother. I do feel like I'm through the worst part of the grieving process and am looking forward to what the future has in store for me.

Unplanned Hair Cut...

Right before it was time to leave for church on Sunday I was in my bathroom finishing getting ready and when I came out to fix the kids hair I saw that Maddy had decided to give Avery a hair cut. When I asked him why he did it he said, "I thought it would look a little cuter and different." Needless to say we were late for church (and of course she had been asked to give a talk in Primary on that particular Sunday.) I have a feeling I will be using lots of hairspray and barrettes for a while.

Sunday 9/11/11

Scrub Scrub Scrub...

Saturday the kids decided to clean the bathroom sink with their toothbrushes and hand soap all by themselves. They were singing "scrub scrub scrub, scrub a dub dub..." over and over the entire time. It was pretty cute. However, I had to explain to them why they couldn't use those toothbrushes to brush their teeth anymore...

Saturday 9/10/11

My Mother's Day...

I had a great Mother's Day this year. I woke up to really sweet cards from Steve and the kids and then Steve made yummy french toast. I was also able to get a nice nap in after church. Here is a snapshot of the treasures the kids made me at school, home and church (I just love this kind of stuff)...

The hand print mitt thing is Maddy's. Avery also made one but has since lost it.

Sunday 5/8/11

Operative Hysteroscopy/Septoplasty/Factor V Leiden (Heterozygous)...

Just a quick (OK, kind of long) update on my Fertility journey...

The day before my surgery was scheduled I got a call from my regular OB's office regarding my blood work results. About a month ago my Dr. had a bunch of "specialized fertility" blood work done before referring me to Dr. Foulk who is a Reproductive Endrocrinologist at the Utah Fertility Center. I've never had so much blood work done... they filled up 8 different tubes. One of the tests they did was for Factor V, which has to do with blood clotting. Mine came back as Factor V Leiden Heterozygous. Which basically means I'm resistant to the protein that tells your body to stop clotting. So I'm at a higher risk for things like strokes and heart attacks due to blood clots. About 5% of the Caucasian population have this and we are 5-8 times more likely to develop blood clots than the average person. Women with Factor V Leiden have a substantially increased risk of clotting in pregnancy (7 times more than when they're not pregnant) and are also at higher risk for things like preeclampsia, low birth weight babies, miscarriages and stillbirths due to placental, umbilical cord and fetal clotting. According to both of my Dr.'s this Factor V issue combined with my Septate uterus (and incompetent cervix) are huge factors in regards to my complications and miscarriages. If I become pregnant I will immediately be put on Heparin (which is an anticoagulant medication) in the form of shots twice a day for the gestation of the pregnancy... ugh! So I will probably look like a bruised drug addict :( And I thought Progesterone shots once a week was bad... I'm just glad it's something that can be treated! Anyway, on to my surgery...

This past Wednesday I had my surgery. Dr. Foulk performed an Operative Hysteroscopy/Septoplasty. He was able to remove the septate wall inside my uterus as well as a polyp I had on my cervix. He was very pleased with the outcome. My recovery was pretty quick and I didn't have much pain at all. I had to go back in the next morning (Thursday) to have the gauze (over five feet long) removed as well as the balloon. It was the weirdest feeling ever! They compared it to when a magician pulls a handkerchief out of their pocket and it just keeps coming and coming... and it did, so weird, I don't even know how it all fit in there! Then I went back in Monday morning to have the medal triangle stent removed (which didn't feel good at all.) It has a tube catheter thing attached to the end of it that they basically have to grab hold of and give it a good pull to pull it out through an (almost closed) cervix... yikes! Talk about intense instant cramping :( It was put in there to hold the shape of my uterus (while I start to heal) so that the raw part on the top, where they removed the wall wouldn't drop down and stick somewhere it shouldn't. I'm on an antibiotic and am also taking Estrace (basically Estrogen) and then Provera (basically Progesterone) once I complete the Estrace several times a day for the next month to help aid in the healing/regrowth stage of my uterine lining. I have some pictures of my surgery (warning-they are a bit graphic if you are sensitive to that kind of thing) attached. If you're curious (or really bored) there is a video that I came across when I was Googling all these medical terms of the same procedure that another Dr. performed (not mine of course) that I have also attached...

Wednesday 5/4/11

Finally Some Answers...

Once again more medical stuff for my record (I've included lots of links for your benefit if you're interested though)...

This past Wednesday I had my appointment with Dr. Foulk. He's a Reproductive Endocrinologist at Utah Fertility Center. The appointment went really well and I finally got some answers as to why I'm having such a hard time staying pregnant. I told him my entire fertility/pregnancy history and had him pretty curious at that point. I've had so many different complications over the years and I think his medical brain was trying to piece everything together-I'm quite the complicated puzzle :) As soon as we finished reviewing my history we went right over into the next room and he performed a "water ultrasound." Pretty much right away he determined that I have an incompetent cervix. None of the water he was injecting was staying in my uterus, it would just come right back out. Ttalk about feeling like you majorly peed your pants... he said something to the fact that I was getting a major douche and would have the cleanest vagina in town... LOL! Sorry if that's tmi, I couldn't help myself! He also said it's usually pretty hard to get the catheter through the cervix (because it's suppose to be really tight and closed) and it went in really quick and loosely, pretty far into my uterus way too easy. He tried three separate times to inject a huge syringe (and all those other fun tools) full of water with no luck of it even staying in long enough to capture pictures on the ultrasound screen. Usually a incompetent cervix can't be diagnosed until you are pregnant (and having complications and dilating prematurely) and so it's crazy that mine is already in that state while I'm not even pregnant. He finally had the nurse get a big cup of water and she kept injecting water as fast as she could so he could capture some images real quick. Talk about a workout for my cervix... I was cramping pretty bad the whole time and he felt really bad that my day was starting out this way. I was actually happy though and told him to do whatever he needed to do because I was finally getting answers, finally everything was starting to make sense. During the ultrasound he found that I have a Septate Uterus which is a wall that partially or completely divides the uterus longitudinally into two cavities on the inside making the capacity a lot less, less room for a baby to grow. Mine is 1.51 cm long (the average non-pregnant uterus is 4 cm long) so it is in between 1/3 to 1/2 divided which he said is pretty significant. Also the right side is a lot smaller then the left side, so if a pregnancy were to implant on the right side there is even less capacity than half of a normal uterus. I know for sure that this last pregnancy I lost at almost 16 weeks was on the smaller right side :( I specifically asked the ultrasound tech. during one of my ultrasounds and was told it was on the right side. I'm not sure on the two I lost before this last one, both at almost 11 weeks. He also saw some Uterine Adhesion's while performing the ultrasound. The combination of these issues makes for lots of complications during pregnancy :( Also he dispelled a couple former diagnosis's that I've had. He wasn't able to see the Fibroid that I was recently told I had and that we thought might be a big issue... still a bit confused about that one, I can't imagine it could go away that fast. Also for years I've thought and been told I have a Bicornuate Uterus and it turns out I don't, I have a Septate Uterus. I guess with regular ultrasounds they can't really tell the difference, and so they just always call it that because it looks kind of heart shaped but bicornuate uterus's are heart shaped on the outside and septate uterus's are normal on the outside (like an upside down triangle) but divided on the inside. He was able to get a clear picture and distinguish between the two during the procedure. Which is good news because a bicornuate uterus can't be fixed but a septate uterus can. So I'm scheduled to have surgery early next month and Dr. Foulk will remove the septate wall and open it all up so I have a normal full capacity uterus. He will also remove any adhesion's or anything else that isn't suppose to be there. Then if I become pregnant I will have a Cervical Cerclage placed (ouchie!) pretty early during the pregnancy to (hopefully) keep my cervix from dilating prematurely and miscarrying as a result. I know it sounds weird but I'm really happy and at peace with all of this. It's so exciting to have real answers and feel hopeful at this point... here's to a happy surgery day!

Wednesday 4/6/11

The Story...

Warning: This post contains matter dealing with loss of pregnancy...

This is mostly for my record...

12 week baby bump (or lack of, weight -7)

Sunday 11/14/10

On Thursday 12/9/10 I lost my seventh pregnancy at 15 weeks, 4 days. I found out I was pregnant on a Sunday at 5 weeks. I called my Dr. the next morning and I was on Progesterone and baby aspirin by that evening. We were really hoping that my Progesterone levels were the reason I have had such a hard time staying pregnant. I was on Progesterone and baby aspirin with Maddox and he was my only full term baby. This pregnancy was pretty much complication free until around 9 weeks. I was very nauseas and tired as with previous pregnancies. I was taking Zofran which helped a little but I was still pretty miserable and had lost some weight. I started spotting around 9 weeks and had my first ultrasound at 10 weeks, 5 days on 11/5/10. Everything looked perfect and there were no signs of any bleeds on the ultrasound. The bleeding varied from light spotting to heavier like a period but never stopped. I had my second ultrasound at 11 weeks, 4 days on 11/11/10. Once again everything looked perfect and there were no signs of bleeds. It was noted that I had a very low placenta and that could possibly be the cause of the bleeding. Any type of lifting or pressure on the placenta could cause it to bleed. I was told to take it easy and rest as much as possible and not lift at all. I had my third ultrasound at 14 weeks, 2 days on 11/29/10. Once again everything looked perfect and there were no signs of bleeds (I also found out it was a girl and was so excited!) I was suppose to be on the Progesterone suppositories daily through 12 weeks and then start the Progesterone shots weekly for weeks 16-36. It has been shown to help with those who have had prior preterm deliveries. I had some extra suppositories and decided to use them instead of throw them away so I took them until 13 weeks 2 days. So at the time of my third ultrasound I had been off Progesterone for one week and was just waiting until I was 16 weeks to start the shots. I mentioned that to the Dr. and wondered if it might be a possibility that that was the reason I was bleeding heavier. I already had the progesterone and all the supplies for the shots so he said to go ahead and start the shots then rather than wait until 16 weeks. Steve (having prior medical experience) gave me the shots those two weeks. On Wednesday 12/8/10 I started cramping and bleeding heavier and I had a rough night that night and wasn't able to sleep much at all. Looking back now I'm pretty sure I was having contractions and not just cramping. I had contractions on and off all day Thursday. I went into the Dr.'s office around 2PM for a heartbeat check and everything was normal. Steve and I had a friends annual Christmas party to go to and left the house at 5:30 PM. While we were driving to the party I started feeling like I did before I delivered Avery at 25 1/2 weeks. My contractions were only minutes apart and I was feeling lots of pressure. I let Steve know that we may have to leave the party early. We were at the party for around an hour and we decided we better leave before we made a big scene. My contractions were as close as 2 minutes apart. We went straight to the American Fork ER dressed to the nines-Steve in a suit and I in a blouse, pencil skirt and 4 inch heals. We were really frustrated at the lack of urgency at the ER (isn't that always the case!) We were checked in and put in a room and then waited for an ultrasound. It seemed like forever because I was in labor at this point and having contractions every two minutes. They were getting worse and at about 9pm (about an hour after arriving) my water broke in the middle of a really bad contraction. I was a bit hysterical at this point and Steve ran out of the room to call for help. Finally there was a sense of urgency and they took me in for an ultrasound. The ultrasound tech wouldn't give us any information but I already knew at that point that it was bad news. I was taken back to the original room and lifted on the sheet from one bed to the other. The ER doctor came in and told us the baby was no longer in my uterus and was already in the birth canal. The ultrasound tech wasn't able to see the baby on the ultrasound until he put the wand lower on my thigh and pointed it up and saw she was in the birth canal. I'm sure that is the reason he had me lifted to the original bed rather than stand up myself... he didn't want to be the one doing the delivery. As soon as the Dr. gave us the news he delivered our tiny little girl. She was so perfect and all her features were already so developed... tiny fingerprints, footprints, ears, etc. She was about 7 inches long fully extended. My placenta however wasn't so excited to make an exit. Steve had called my sister Stacy (who lives really close to the hospital) while we were driving there so she was able to come and be with us. Thanks so much Stacy! Shortly after the delivery they had a "bereavement specialist" come to my room. She was such a sweet caring lady and spent a couple hours there making a special package for me to take home while we were waiting for the placenta to (hopefully) pass. She made ink prints of the babies tiny feet and hands (that were about the size of Barbie feet and hands), made ceramic molds of her hands and feet, cleaned her up and put a little pink bow on her head, wrapped a tiny robe around her and wrapped her in a blanket. She took some pictures of her as well as a couple of pictures of me holding her. I held her for a few minutes. We decided at about 11PM that Steve better get home so he could take the babysitter home (who was only planning on babysitting until around 9PM.) My placenta still hadn't passed and we were still waiting to see if it would or if I would need a D&C. I was really hoping I wouldn't have to have a D&C because I was trying to minimize the medical bills. I even passed on being given any pain medication through all the contractions and waiting. I waited until 3AM (6 hours post delivery) and at that point the Dr. and I decided to proceed with the D&C. My body was still pumping blood to the placenta and since the baby had already been delivered I was just contracting and bleeding out. My hematocrit levels had started dropping and they were worried they would have to give me blood. So I was prepped for surgery, talked to the OB that had been called in to do the surgery, signed some consent forms and was taken into the OR at 3:08AM. I was given some anesthesia and was told I would be intubated and that is all I remember until after the surgery. While in recovery I mentioned my back hurt (I feel most of my labor pains through my back) and so I was given some Morphine and was out of it for several hours. I woke up around 8:30AM very emotional. Reality had set in and I felt so sad and defeated. I had a good cry and then my nurse came in to check on me and give me the menu for room service (which is awesome I must say.) I ordered some breakfast (veggie omelette-I had been craving one recently and some hash browns-which I love, and milk.) Steve and the kids showed up to pick me up around 10AM... I was so glad to see them. They were right in time for breakfast, so of course the kids insisted I share my food with them. We had just told the kids I was pregnant a week or so before so of course Maddy had some questions right when they got there. He asked me where the baby was and why she died. I was so sad but tried to explain to him that she went back to live with our Heavenly Father. He also let me know he still wants another sister AND a brother. I guess technically the kids have five other siblings that they will hopefully someday meet...

"My Sweet Baby

I held you physically

For a brief moment

I hold you in my

Heart for always..."

15 weeks, 4 days

Thursday 12/9/10

Steve was so so amazing through this whole process. He has always been so caring and supportive when I'm pregnant and this time around was no exception. He just took over pretty much all the household responsibilities. He would just come home from work and see what needed to be done (which was pretty much everything) and just do it without saying anything or complaining. He did dishes, laundry, cleaned toilets, floors, grocery shopped, Christmas shopped for the kids, etc. He would also come home every night and make his own dinner, spend time with the kids, bathe them and put them to bed. I was in bed before them the majority of the time. I kept waiting for him to get burned out and frustrated but it never happened...

Thanks so much Steve... you are my rock! You made it a lot easier for me to get through the days and I am so grateful to have you in my life. I love you more than you will ever know!

Heavy Heart...

After a long rough night spent in the ER (and with a very heavy heart), I wanted to let you all know that we lost our baby girl on Thursday evening at 15 weeks, 4 days gestation. Her tiny little body was perfect and she will always hold a special place in our hearts.

We want to thank all the many dear friends and family that have been so supportive and loving through this process, you have truly made our burden lighter.

Never Choose the Left...

We were discussing the movie we watched on Sunday night, "Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief." Specifically about the "Medusa" character and Maddy was telling me he wouldn't look at her eyes no matter what...

Maddy: "Mom, I would keep my eyes closed so tight so she couldn't turn me into stone."

Me: "Well I'm so glad because I wouldn't like it if she turned you to stone because I would miss my Maddy hugs so so much!"

Maddy: "I know Mommy!"

Me: "No matter how hard someone tries to trick us we should always try and choose the right huh?"

Maddy: *spoken as if I had insulted his smartness* "I know Mom, *insert a visual DUH!* we never choose the left!"

P.S. He is all into left and right lately. While we are driving he is constantly asking me if I'm turning left or right next.

Tuesday 8/3/10

No Treat For Avery...

Every night when I'm putting Avery to bed I tell her if she doesn't go potty in her diaper I will give her a treat in the morning (she is potty trained except at night.)

Every morning when she wakes up I'm greeted with a big smile and raised arms and then she says "No treat for Avery!" She says it like it's funny and she is proud of it. Funny girl!

Complex Questions...

"Mom, if I get my shovel and dig and dig, what is underneath all the dirt?"
"Mom, what is inside the sun?"
"Mom, who is the boss of the whole wide world?"
"Mom, how do bees make honey?"

These are some of the questions Maddy has asked me in the last couple days. I have a feeling they're only going to get more and more complex...

Little Mama...

The other day Avery was in the highchair eating. She had been there a while (because she was eating so slowly) and was busy singing (the happy birthday song) and talking to herself and this is what I heard...

Avery: *in a stern voice* "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten... now you go in time out!"

Sometimes when I'm trying to get the kids to mind I will start counting. I rarely even make it to three though (and always stop if I do.) And until I heard this I didn't even know she could count to ten without help or without skipping any numbers.

The same night we were starting to eat dinner together at the table (which is kind of a rare occasion) and she reminded me that we needed to say the prayer. Usually if I forget Maddy reminds me, but she beat him and this was the first time. So I helped her say her first prayer.

She is growing up way too fast...

6/2/10

Love, Maddy...

Maddy made this necklace for me for Mother's Day at preschool and I love it! I love the little poem that came with it as well.

I love the back of the necklace even more because it has his fingerprints on it. He was so cute when I picked him up from school on Thursday. He said "Mom, I need to give you a big hug when we get home." I said something like "Really, I can't wait!" He said "Yea, my teacher said so."

He made me this card in his Primary class on Sunday.

On Monday night he decided he wasn't finished with it and wrote me a big long letter (in his own language) on the inside. He started telling me what he had written and it was so cute I decided to record him reading it to me (it's a bit long but worth it in my opinion)...

After we watched the video back he clarified that he meant to say "Eat healthy food", not "Drink healthy food."

P.S. Did you know there is an "unlisted" option on Youtube. I've been trying to upload this video through Blogger for days now and it kept failing. I've been hesitant to post this kind of stuff to Youtube in the past but found out there are "private" and "unlisted" options. The "unlisted" option makes it to where only people that have the link can view the video. It won't show up on any searches or anything like that. Just thought I would pass that on.

My "Mommy" Day...

I had a great Mother's Day this year! Sunday mornings are always a bit hectic because we have 9am church. Last night we were out pretty late with the kids doing a little shopping and eating at IHOP (I love breakfast for dinner.) Needless to say it was a crazy morning, but I made sure I had Steve take a few pictures of the kids and I before we left for church. It was a beautiful morning... nice and bright, thus the squinty eyes. Steve (and the kids) sent me some really cool e-cards. Some were sentimental and others well... lets just say humorous! After church Steve took the kids outside so I could take a nap-it was great! I ended the night with a banana split before heading to bed.

LOVE Avery's new dress. My sister Jamie (and family) gave it to her for her birthday.

Maddy was a little grumpy and not real cooperative and this was the best I got. Steve bribed him with "a surprise that was green" (which ended up being a dollar), to get him to cooperate for the one of me and the kids.

Couldn't decide between color and b&w...

I love being a Mom and can't imagine my life without my kids. They bring such joy into my life. Thanks Steve for being such a great Husband and Father and taking this journey with me, I love you! Maddy and Avery-I love you two so much!

Mine...

I'm so lucky to have these two faces looking up at me every day!

I want to wish a Happy Mother's Day to both My Mom and Steve's Mom as well as all the other Mom's out there. I hope you feel as lucky as I do!

Preschool Graduation Pictures...

First time in a cap and gown... I don't know how this boy got so gosh dang cute!

Maddy is the second from the left on the bottom row.

We had another "first" with Maddy on Wednesday night. He had a really bad dream and came into our room just after midnight. He said his dream was about a "killer" with a sharp thing that looked like an elephant. After asking questions we think it was about some kind of rhinoceros. He was really scared and didn't want to go back to his room. We have never had either of our kids sleep in our bed (and don't plan on starting now), so Steve told him he would go lay down with him in his room. After about 30 minutes Steve came back to our room. Five minutes later Maddy came back into our room and was still scared. He slept the rest of the night with us. Steve didn't sleep so well because Maddy was hogging his side of the bed all night. I have to admit that they looked so cute all cuddled up but Steve has since let Maddy know that it was the last time he will sleep in our bed.

Loss...

Warning: This post contains matter dealing with loss of pregnancy and has lots of boring details (for my record.)

This past week I had my 4th pregnancy loss. That brings my record to 2/6. Not too good. I am so grateful for the two children that I have. Going through these trials makes me realize that they truly are miracles and I have been so blessed to have them in my life. The kids didn't know I was pregnant. I didn't think they would be able to understand how long it would take to actually have the baby if things worked out, and I didn't want to try explaining to them what happened if things didn't work out. Maddy drew the picture above on his "Doodle Pro" a few weeks ago before the more serious complications started. I was a bit taken back when he showed it to me because it was the first time I had seen him draw people (stick figures) at all and he drew our whole family. He pointed out to me that he drew Daddy, Me, Him and Avery and excitedly said "Look Mom we are all holding hands!" It was really special to me and I will never forget it-of course I had to take a picture before it was cleared.

My experience this time around was very similar to the one I had on August 18 of last year. However this pregnancy started out better than any of my prior pregnancies and I just had very minimal spotting until 8+ weeks. Of course I had the usual nausea and fatigue and lost some weight. I began to get my hopes up and think I might have a somewhat normal pregnancy. I even thought it might be the first time I made it to my first regularly scheduled appointment (2/18/10) before having to be seen for complications. Well I almost made it... missed it by one day. On 2/16/10 (8 weeks 4 days) I began bleeding heavier. It started within an hour of having this conversation with Maddy. It was a bitter/sweet evening. I called the Dr. the next morning (2/17/10) and went in for an ultrasound at 8 weeks 5 days.

The bleeding had mostly stopped and everything looked perfect on the ultrasound. The baby was measuring within a couple days of my due date and had a very strong heartbeat of 185 beats per minute (in early pregnancy 170-180 is normal.) Everything went smoothly for the next two weeks. Then on 3/3/10 (10 weeks 5 days) with no warning my water broke (it was small but still very clear to me what had happened.) For a couple hours after I was bleeding quite a bit. At this point I was pretty sure this pregnancy wasn't going to continue. The next day on 3/4/10 (10 weeks 6 days) I went in for my second ultrasound and they confirmed the pregnancy was no longer viable. However the pregnancy was still visible on the ultrasound so I had not passed all the tissue. I spoke to the Dr. about my options. He told me I could wait for my body to pass the tissue on it's own (which is very unpredictable-can take days or weeks), take some medication (Misoprostol) which causes the cervix to dilate and the uterine lining to shed or have a D & C. I decided to wait a week to see if my body would pass the tissue on it's own. It was a miserable week because I still felt pregnant (nausea and very tired) and was just waiting for it to be over with. Nothing happened so on 3/12/10 (12 weeks) I started taking the medication. I was really nervous to take the medicine knowing I was going to be in a lot of pain. As expected I had lots of cramping and spent lots of time in the bathroom. My digestive system was also a mess, which is one of the side effects. I ended up having to take 3 of the 4 doses (every 12 hours) so it made for a long two days (and nights.) My kids were also sick on those days. Avery had a bad cough, fever and runny nose and Maddy started coughing and had some kind of eye infection. I ended up coming down with the head cold stuff myself as well. I guess when it rains it pours.

Those of you that know Avery know that it is nearly impossible for her to hold still so there is no denying she wasn't feeling well. She also wants to eat anything in sight but didn't have an appetite at all.

Maddy wanted his picture taken as well with his Lego creation. Love these two so much!

Thanks Mom and Dad for the beautiful flowers, salsa and dinner money. Thanks Stacy for the yummy salsa and cookies. Thanks to all the many friends and family members who offered words of encouragement, put our names on prayer rolls at the temple and all the many prayers on our behalf.

Bedroom Screamer...

She sure does look sweet but when she's in timeout or bed she does all her venting and yells all the things she's not suppose to say... sometimes I can't help but laugh.

Cupcakes...

Earlier this month (Feb. 3) Maddy and I made some cupcakes. He's been exploring our pantry and found a bunch of sprinkles and stuff and had been begging to make cupcakes. I finally gave in and he was so excited. Of course he had to help every step of the way...

Avery being her typical crazy self.

The kids love taking the cushions off and couch and playing.

This is what happened while I was frosting the cupcakes. Not sure what he was looking for but he is so curious about everything, which I guess is a good thing. I know I'm biased but I can't believe how much he is learning and how smart he is.

The finished product... not the best looking but Maddy was sure excited about them and couldn't wait to give some to our neighbor Brooke for her birthday.

Potty Trained...

I think for the most part Avery would be considered potty trained. I no longer have to remind her and she goes on her own (although she seems to need to go about every half hour which is kind of annoying.) She still has the occasional accident as she is making a mad dash to the bathroom and doesn't quite make it in time. I haven't been brave enough to leave the house for more than an hour yet so hopefully that won't be too scary. I'm so proud of her and it will be so nice to be done with diapers after 4+ years between her and Maddy. Apparently my work isn't done though and we are in the process of training her doll...