Gardens...

On Tuesday after going to the Dinosaur museum we went to the Gardens. As usual it is always beautiful. We had a great time until we were heading back to go home. We were almost back to the main building and Maddy and Dallin went a different way and ended up getting lost for like 30 minutes. They ended up getting separated and were at the complete opposite corner that we last saw them at. Maddy ended up in the Secret Garden-go figure. It was starting to get dark and it was definitely not a fun place to have them get lost. It is so big and there are so many different paths, ponds, waterfalls, etc. Needless to say my sisters and I covered that place pretty fast looking for them. Just when I was about to lose it this couple walking towards us asked me if my name was Stephanie. Apparently Maddy had remembered my name(after telling them it was Mommy a few times) and remembered I was wearing a black shirt. I was SO relieved and so glad things turned out well. I had started imagining the worst. This was the first time this has happened to me and hopefully the last. I think he had nightmares about it that night because he woke up crying saying he was scared. Despite all the drama we did manage to get some good pictures.

I took this as we were first walking in from the parking lot.

My sisters and their kids.

These two lead the way(which worked great-until the very end),they were trying to decide which way to go.

There was a couple that asked us to take pictures of them a couple time so we had them return the favor. :)

LOVE this!

Isn't my niece Lola the cutest! Love her smile!

Jace and Claire-such cuties!

We always make a stop at the fish pond.

We saw some really big frogs in the ponds.

The kids had lots of fun playing by this pond for quite a while. They were throwing rocks and looking for frogs. It was a little while before the sun started going down and I was loving the lighting(and all the colors!) I LOVE how the pictures turned out...

So cute-for a minute Dallin had his arm around Maddy.

Love that sun!

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this!

Thanks Jamie and Stacy... never a boring day!

Dinosaur Museum...

Tuesday we decided to take advantage of the last $2 Tuesday at Thanksgiving Point. We went to both the Dinosaur Museum and The Gardens. The Dinosaur Museum wasn't nearly as crowded as when we went last year(I think because school has already started for a lot of people.) The pictures aren't the best because it was pretty dark in there.

Maddy seemed to be having a very emotional day. Every time I turned around it seemed like he was crying about something. This particular time he and his cousin Dallin went running into a dark tunnel and smacked right into each other. :(

Our attempt at a group picture... I was trying to get Avery to look forward-she was SO not listening to me. LOL!

Sometimes it is IMPOSSIBLE to get kids to look at the camera. This particular day was not a good picture day.

When not fighting the kids did have some fun...

Maddy had another meltdown after a kid threw sand at him while they were digging for fossils so I ended up carrying him the rest of the time.

Before leaving(and heading to The Gardens) we ate at the little food place inside the museum. This seemed to cheer the boys up. Maddy was excited to get another "dinosaur cup" and have dino nuggets and cheetos. Maddy and Dallin had fun sitting and eating by the window and didn't fight at all(AND ate all their food.) Who knows... maybe they were just hungry?

Music Monday: If You Leave...

I've always loved this song.
If you Leave(Pretty In Pink)/OMD...

Hugs & Kisses...

These two LOVE giving each other bedtime hugs and kisses...

...and I love watching them! :)

Grateful...

I have the best friends!


"Angel of Hope"

Thank you so much Kari and Geralyn!

P.S. Kari-the cookies were so yummy-I ate 4 of the 6 last night(gave Steve and Maddy one.) I will have to get your recipe. :)

P.S.S. Geralyn-Your boys were SO cute when they dropped off the flowers... they are going to be little heart breakers!

Whatever Wednesday: 41 Questions. 1 Personality.

I took this personality quiz and here are my results...

Your personality type:

Quietly forceful, original and sensitive. Tend to stick to things until they are done. Extremely intuitive about people and concerned for their feelings. Well-developed value systems which they strictly adhere to. Well-respected for their perserverence in doing the right thing. Likely to be individualistic, rather than leading or following.

Careers that could fit you include:

Counselors, clergy, missionaries, teachers, medical doctors, dentists, chiropractors, psychologists, psychiatrists, writers, musicians, artists, psychics, photographers, child care workers, education consultants, librarians, marketeers, scientists, social workers.

You can take the quiz here. I would love to hear your results-leave me a comment.

Music Monday: 18th Floor Balcony(Edward&Bella)...

18th Floor Balcony/Blue October...

LOVE this song and thought the Edward/Bella fanmade video was pretty clever.

Flowers...

These Brightened My Day...
Thank You SO Much Ali!

Para Gliders...

On Thursday Steve went to pick Maddy up from his second day of school and when they got home Maddy ran in the house frantically excited saying "Mommy, did you see the para gliders outside?" He said "come and see" and ran out the back door. There were tons of para gliders by the mountains behind our house. Steve counted 36(but I'm sure there were more. ) He called our friend Mike who does paragliding to find out what was going on and I guess there was a competition going on all week. Anyway it was really cool to see(the picture doesn't do it justice at all-they look like little white dots) and Maddy was SO excited. After we went Skydiving in June we had decided we wanted to go paragliding-now Steve really wants to go. One ended up landing about a block from our house(for a minute I thought it might land in the yard next door), and Maddy insisted we go on a little walk to see if he was OK. It was so cute-he was so concerned. While we were walking he said "Mommy, do you want me to hold your hand?" Of course I did and it was so hot that our hands got all sweaty but I didn't care. :) Once we got to the guys(there happened to be two that landed) we talked to them a bit. If they wouldn't have landed prematurely it would've been about a 5 hour trip-I can't believe they can stay up that long. Maddy of course was a little chatter box on the walk back home. I loved the little moments like these with my kids.

My First's First...

Tuesday was Maddy's first day of Pre School. He has been SO excited to go to school for so long. His school is so cute and I love his teachers. His home room teacher's name is Miss Kami. He also has cooking, science, music and art classes(he has two of these classes-in addition to his home room-each time he goes.) He also has one of his cute little neighborhood "girlfriends" in his class. I can't believe he is old enough-where has the time gone? Of course I had to take a picture of him on his big day...

I think he is the cutest little boy ever! Doesn't he look all grown up!?! I bought him some new "school" clothes and he insisted on wearing them-because they were his "school clothes" even though it was way too hot outside. Thank goodness for air conditioning right?

I think Steve was a excited as Maddy was. He was such a giddy proud Daddy. He insisted that we all drive him to school as a family but for reasons listed in the previous post I wasn't up for taking him in. Avery and I waited in the car but I couldn't help but sneak this picture of the two of them walking in. I just love it! I love how they are holding hands and Maddy is carrying his cute little red school bag.

All day long we just couldn't get over how fast he is growing up and Steve said something to the effect of "What are you going to do when we have to send him off to college?" I said "Hold on, slow down... there are quite a few steps in between this and that." Jokingly I said "Maybe by then we will be glad to see him go." It was a very emotional day for us between taking him to school and what transpired a couple hours later(again posted below) and Maddy seemed to sense this and was very sweet and cuddly with me later in the evening and ended up falling asleep next to me on the couch.

Maddy- We are so proud of you and excited that you are starting school. You are so smart and curious about learning about EVERYTHING and the questions keep going all day long. I am amazed at how much you remember and can tell the wheels are always turning in that little head of yours. You are very creative and imaginative and can make about anything become what you want it to be and insist that we pretend along with you. You are also obsessed with fireworks(something we are hoping you outgrow) and can somehow make anything become one. You love "church day" and going to your Sunbeam class. You are such a chatter box while we are driving anywhere and point out everywhere you have been and have to know the name of every gas station we see. You also point out every tractor, crane, train, bridge, etc. that we pass. You make sure I stop when the red lights are red and go when the green lights are green. You still stay in your bed in the morning and wait while you call my name until I come and get you. You love your sister and always tell her to come sit on your lap and give her hugs when she is crying. You love everything about your Dad and want to be just like him. Whenever someone is coming to our house(especially Daddy) you have to hide and then tell them where you are while you are still hiding... so cute! You amaze me every day at how much you are learning and understand. While I love seeing you learn and grow, sometimes I wish I could just slow time down and keep you my little boy forever! I love all your big hugs and kisses and hope you will always be so willing to give them. Always remember how much we love you!

Bump in the Road...

WARNING: This post is long winded, contains matter dealing with loss of pregnancy... and is pretty high on the sap-o-meter(I think I made that word up.)

My plans for this post didn't workout as I had hoped. I had planned on a happy post I would be publishing in a couple weeks and calling it something like "Bump Watch Begins..." I found out in July that I was pregnant and was really excited. It seemed to be perfect timing-I had finally got insurance that lasted through June of next year and we got pregnant the first month we tried. Although excited I must admit I was a bit nervous and scared. My worst fear was a repeat of my prior pregnancy. The reason I was holding off on this post was because within a week of finding out I started having complications. Any of you that know my history know this is nothing new and I was really hoping things would work out. I wanted to feel more confident that things were getting better before making the big announcement. There are only a handful of people that knew and I even held off telling some of the most important people in my life to spare them the worry that I know it would've caused them. I just wanted the news to be happy news and not be overshadowed with concern(like all of my previous 4 pregnancies had been.) I debated even making this post-I think when blogging we tend to focus on the good things in our life and choose to leave some of the harder things we go through in life unwritten. Ultimately I decided that this was an important event in my life and all things happen for a reason(even it we don't know why), so I decided to just go for it. I have also been very touched and inspired by her story and am amazed at her strength and while my story doesn't compare to hers I know that through sharing our trials we strengthen others.

On Tuesday August 18, 2009 at 10 weeks 4 days I miscarried. During the almost six weeks that I knew I was pregnant I had been to the hospital for blood work(quant. hCG which was 60728-at 6 weeks 6 days it was well within the normal range), had my first regular OB appointment, had two ultrasounds(with another one previously scheduled for the day following my miscarriage) and had been put on (modified) bed rest. The bleeding never stopped during this time but I was used to this and was just taking it one day at a time and trying to stay positive. My first ultrasound was at 6 weeks 6 days and everything looked completely normal. The baby had a strong heartbeat and measured exactly where it should've based on my LMP. There were no detectable signs of bleeding on the ultrasound. About week and a half later at 8 weeks 3 days the bleeding got a lot worse so I was sent for another ultrasound. The baby still looked great with a strong heartbeat and measured right on. However there was a large mass of bleeding right at the border of the amniotic sac and where the placenta was developing. There was also a small bleed above the amniotic sac. I had my first regular appointment a couple days later at 8 weeks 5 days and the DR. was still hopeful(given my history) that it was just first trimester bleeding. We discussed some things we could do later on to help the pregnancy. I was going to be given Progesterone shots for 20 weeks every week starting at week 16 and ending at 36 weeks. Studies have shown they are really successful at helping women carry babies longer that are considered high risk for preterm delivery. I am classified as high risk for several reasons-prior preterm(25 weeks) delivery, bicornuate uterus, ectopic pregnancy, endometriosis, miscarriage, etc. We also discussed various things such as cervical ultrasounds later on and closer monitoring during the pregnancy. I felt confident that I was in good hands. Early Tuesday morning at about 2 am I woke up with severe cramping and massive amounts of bleeding. I spent the majority of the morning in the bathroom and was hoping that it was just all the blood clearing out but deep down I knew something wasn't right. I had a rough day on Tuesday and at about 5:30 pm I miscarried. It was very traumatic because I actually saw the fetus(previous miscarriages I wasn't far enough along) and while it was small(about 1 1/2 inches) it already looked so much like a human. Almost exactly like this. I could see all of the fingers and toes, eyes, etc. Unfortunately Steve was again the recipient of a frantic phone call and was a trooper and collected the tissue so I would have it to take to the DR. I know you are probably thinking that is completely disgusting but I had read on several different occasions that this is what you should do if possible in case they want to send it for testing.

All these fertility/pregnancy trials are something I would rather not have to go through but it seems to be what I have been dealt with. I will say that experiencing these things has made me appreciate how fragile life is and how important the people in our lives are and to not take them for granted. The picture above is one of my favorites and hangs in our bedroom. It is called "I am the Light" and the artist is Danny Hahlbohm. It is a great reminder to me that our Savior is always there for us. There were times during all our years of infertility while going through various testing, treatments, fertility drugs, pregnancy losses, etc. that I thought I would never be able to have my own children. Words can't express how grateful I am for the two that I have been blessed with. I remember how emotionally consuming it was and the emotional roller coaster that I went through every month only to be disappointed over and over. I remember doing something as simple as walking though the parking lot at work and seeing a cute little family and having to physically collect myself before I could go into work. I know some of you that are reading this have gone through or are going through this and my heart goes out to you!

This all sounds so depressing and I want people to know I really was excited so here are some things I was excited about and looking forward to posting in my post if things had worked out the way I wanted...

I was excited to say this belonged to me...

I was excited to share the first photo(6 weeks 6 days)...

I had decided as daunting as it was I was going to post "belly shots" every four weeks or so(looking back I wish I had them for my prior pregnancies) and had Steve take the first the day I hit the 8 week mark...

I was excited to add that cheesy little pregnancy countdown to my sidebar and looking forward to announcing it in some clever way on Facebook.

I had already started a list of names I liked and was looking forward to picking out "the perfect name" with Steve.

I was excited for Maddy to have a brother or Avery to have a sister-those are some of the most special relationships.

I was excited to be due in the early spring(March 12) and hoping, hoping, hoping I would make it somewhere close to that date.

I have to thank my dear husband who was there through the whole thing. He was there when I broke down and was there to give me a hug... even if it was in the bathroom. :) He was there to make runs to Wal Mart for much need "feminine products." He put up with me while I wasn't up for housework, cooking or yard work and was doing my fair share of sleeping. He was also persistent at trying to get me to get out of the house.

I have to also thank my family who are always there for me. Those of you that didn't know I know you would've been. Thanks for your excitement, concern and help with the kids. Stacy and Jamie-thanks for the food and taking Maddy along on trips to 7 Peaks. It gave me some much needed time to rest and Maddy much needed breaks from the house. I'm looking forward to getting back into the swing of things and joining you again for all of our fun outings. I'm especially excited for Halloween and the Fall season! I had so much fun with you last year during those months.

To the few dear friends that knew. Thank you so much for your excitement and concern... it means more to me than you will ever know. I know I have been blessed with some of the most amazing friends ever!

To those of you that are regular readers... I plan on getting back to my old regular blogging self as soon as possible.

Some Highlights...

Here are some pictures from some of our last few trips to Seven Peaks. We've had lots of fun there this summer and Maddy has become quite the big fish.

Our attempt to get a picture with all the kids together who were all insisting on sitting in the chairs while they ate their sandwiches. As you can see we pack with us quite a bit of stuff. :)

These two are just like brothers... either laughing and having fun or fighting.

My sisters have taken Maddy the last couple times when I wasn't able to go and he has had so much fun! This last time he and Dallin were trying to hold onto each other while going down the slide and having so much fun. Besides one little scare(my sister's thought Dallin and Maddy were lost and ended up notifying security-turns out they were where they were suppose to be just hidden), the summer of Seven Peaks was pretty safe. Thanks Jamie and Stacy!